My coworkers see me as a amazing, smart, confident organizer that even though I have some quirks and may be awkward at times, I get shit done and I can defend myself. They don’t no that sometimes I cant handle new situations or new people and I want to break down. But I put on a fake smile, try to be “normal” and make it through the day without having a panic attack. I’m already very comfortable with the majority of my coworkers to the point that I can hug them without flinching or pulling away or making a face.
Someone, whom I’ve spoken a total of two times took it upon himself to hug me without my permission. I calmly pulled away and left. I panicked. Panic attack mode was about to happen. I told two of my coworkers and they didn’t see the big deal and decided to make me feel worse about how I was feeling. This organization is supposed to be progressive and liberal. How am I supposed to teach them that is not ok to touch anyone you’ve barely met?
I am currently keeping my panic attack under control by typing all this out on my phone. I don’t even know who to talk to about this without them thinking I’m being a silly girl. Maybe I can find an empty room to dance it out. That might be fun.
I WANT MORE MUPPETS ON MY DASH
I don’t know why I posted everything. I know it won’t be published or viewed. Something is always wrong. Yes. I haven’t submitted this weeks shifts and 1:1s. Just commit cards. But I know things are perfect. I love you, whoever is reading this
My own father doesn’t want me around much less me brother or sister. I just want s family to love me. I don’t know what that feels like any more